Bruce Bednarchuk--a Redwood Falls, MN composer, arranger, singer and instrumentalist--who has a summer home at the Swine Song Commune told the The Daily Boar, "After I got to know all the crazy 'characters' in Sweet Swine County, I couldn't help but write this song about them! The lyrics just flowed to me like someone had cast a "hit-song writing spell" on me!" Here you can see the music video done by Earl Silo and featured on KLUK TV's Spit Hoof Tonight.
Midwest! Click HERE is see all the episodes!
Learn about life inside the county of Sweet Swine with stories provided by the on-line magazine "Sweet Swine Scoop" Cousin John who won the prestigious magazine in a card game was quoted as saying "Just because you can read about Sweet Swine County on this blog doesn't mean you shouldn't buy my magazine! They can be purchased at Clem's Feed Store! If you can't get there you can read all the stories below, then send me a check!"
Sweet Swine Scoop interviewed one of the winners who is:
Lonesome Ron, who recently purchased a cabin on Swine Lake but now has moved it to the Commune. He told Sweet Swine Scoop, "I see this as a great opportunity to work with other believers in the art of yodeling and who like to do it around a campfire!"
Although Sweet Swine County's Poet Lariat, Ronnie Silage, hasn't yet actually moved into Swine Song Commune, when we asked him about having a commune in the county, he told us, "Well, I think it's OK. My grandmother sold her house and moved into a commune -- oh, no, wait! -- that was a condominium. But she loves it. I'll probably love it there, too. If I do move in, my hope is to start up poetry readings where people can be real intelligent and read and write. It wouldn't hurt if they were good at rhyming words, either!"
Look for updates in the The Daily Boar Newspaper and here on the Sweet Swine Scoop about artists moving to Swine Song Commune!
A number of notable, decent, well-fed and successful Sweet Swine County citizens who make up the county's Legion of Decency Board called an emergency meeting yesterday at Edie's Cafe. The board's mission is to enforce "The Swine Code" that specifically limits the airing on TV or radio anything considered to be too grossly indecent for county residents. Earl Silo, the board's Vice Treasurer, described The Swine Code this way: "Basically it's a set of rules and codes written by the founders of Sweet Swine County in the 1930s to keep this county "clean" and on the up and up. Those codes have never been broken yet, but when they are, certain people are sure it'll be Betty Thomspon who does it!" It has come to The Scoop's attention that an unnamed county resident (but whom we name in this article because we believe in getting the truth out there!) has recently complained to the board about KLUK's airing programs starring the increasingly infamous Betty Thompson.
It seems that Miss Thompson's conduct on and off the set of KLUK TV's "Cooking It Up With Betty" program has come into question. Recently, the Legion of Decency Board's acting president, Nosy Norma (our unnamed source), was eavesdropping on the conversations of certain KLUK crew members while they dined on beef commercials in Edie's Cafe. Nosy Norma was quoted as saying, "The stories I overheard about Betty undoubtedly prove that she broke many of The Swine Code's codes!" As this story unfolds further, you'll hear all about it here!
“Flat Land High” is home to the sometimes-winning horseshoe team, “Flat Land Prairie Dogs.” Located one mile outside the town of Corn Row, it was built in 1907 when citizens from all over the county donated bricks from their abandoned well houses. The school holds classes every Tuesday and Thursday to prepare students to meet the challenges of life in Sweet Swine County. Many graduates go on to college at Purrdoo University, Sweet Swine County's Institute For Hire Learnin'.
John Robert Olson (aka Cousin John), is Sweet Swine County's most nefarious ... er ... notorious ... er ... notable entrepreneur. This successful businessman (and eligible bachelor, ladies!), is Chief Editor/Owner of the hugely popular online magazine, Sweet Swine Scoop, as well as the sole owner of The Daily Boar Newspaper, KLUK Television and Radio Station, Sweet Swine's central bank, It Will Be Gone Savings & Loan, along with over 2000 acres of farmland and, of course, the cornerstone of his portfolio, the Pluck 'n' Cluck chicken business.
Prairie Ann Smacovich, the well known co-host of "The Women of Sweet Swine County" is the 2016 Gullible Gilt Party nominee for president. But who is she, perhaps we can learn more by watching the promo of her book "How to be Jealous of Yourself" or by watching her first political ad that has been airing throughout the Midwest!
Sweet Swine County's only lawyer, Lawyer Ed has been selected as the 2016 Comb-Over Party nominee for president. But what do we know about Lawyer Ed, perhaps we can learn more by watching the promo of his book or by watching his first political ad that has been airing throughout the Midwest!
Earl Silo sidekick on Sweet Swine's #1 late-night talk show "Split Hoof Tonight" has stepped out of his comfort zone to except the nomination of the Cautious Chicken Party. But what do we know about Mr. Silo, perhaps we can learn more by watching the promo of his book "Earl Steps Out, My Story" or by watching his first political ad that has been airing throughout the Midwest!
Click on the photos above to see many of these award-winning fashion styles worn by your favorite KLUK TV program hosts!
Sweet Swine County Residents Wonder: Is There a Future for "Mrs. Swanson's Sweets & Eats Catering" Business?
The Daily Boar has learned from a reliable source (Nosey Norma the Waitress) that Mrs. Swanson's Sweets & Eats Catering may be about to go under. Mrs. Swanson was enticed by Ronnie P. Silage to invest every single dollar she had into developing his business brainchild: "HOTDISH ON A STICK"! As reported earlier, the half-baked idea went south, and now word has it that Mrs. Swanson is nearly penniless! When asked about the rumor, Mrs. Swanson scoffed, "You can't keep a good hotdish down!" We hope she's right!
Bowling Ball Art
A unknown artist has donated two bowling ball metal sculptors to the park. The sculptors are made from recycled metal and with the bowling balls donated from Cow Pie Bowling Alley, this exhibit truly is a green project and sure to be a draw for tourists from all over Sweet Swine County.
Sweet Swine County Museum & Park Director said "We do not know who donated the sculptors but there has been tourists who have told us about other Bowling Ball People that have been seen in Amboy MN!
Groundskeeper Jack(Leafy)Webber when asked about the sculptors said "Well that's two more things to mow around!
The House of Corn
Sweet Swine County’s most popular tourist destination is in the town of High House at the Sweet Swine County Museum & Park. Boasting, at last count, the foot traffic of over 40 people in the last year! This outhouse is made completely out of corn, and was designed by Sweet Swine County’s own interior designer, Dougie Dougan. Though no longer in working order, it is still is visited by tourist from all over the county!
KLUK TV owner, Cousin John, has signed Sergio Ferleone as the new Program Director at KLUK TV. Ferleone rose to fame as an infomercial producer/director in the 1980s and will bring that experience to bear in programming entertainments for KLUK. Sweet Swine Scoop has learned three new programs are in the works:
"The Housewives of Sweet Swine County" a remake of "So You Want to be a Farm Hand" and "Sweet Swine County's Got Talent."
Mr. Ferleone told Sweet Swine Scoop: "I'm tickled pink to bring these new shows to the tasteful Sweet Swine County audience!"
The inimitable Sergio Ferleone left Italy at age 18 and, in the style of
a lower-class Columbus, sailed on a Merchant Marine vessel to America
where he believed he would find fortune and fame. Ultimately making his
way to the West Coast to pursue his love of show-biz, Sergio landed a
gig working in Hollywood with Stephen Squealberg on the short film, “Car
Wars.” He was hired as the Assistant to the Assistant Grip for that
award-winning film, as proven by the one-tenth-of-a-second his name
appeared in the credit roll. Shortly afterwards, Sergio somehow
catapulted into a position as an infomercial director for the shady
inventor and producer of the product show, “Got To Have It”—Harry
Sergio directed a series of infomercials for Mr. Willetmaker until an investigation was launched by the Federal Trade Commission to investigate allegations of “fake and worthless product hawking on infomercials.” “Got To Have It” and Mr. Willetmaker were soon named by the FTC in a suit against product fraud. In the suit, Sergio Ferleone was listed as “a person of interest in the crime of selling worthless crap.” Although Sergio was in the midst of a tumultuous love affair with the lead actress of the “Got To Have It” infomercials—Urban Katie—he nonetheless fled back to Italy, all the while proclaiming his innocence. When Urban Katie moved from L.A. to Sweet Swine County, Sergio, to Katie’s chagrin, followed her from Italy. Sergio is trying to romance Katie once again since he has ensconced himself in Sweet Swine County, and into the lives of the all-believing residents there. Trusting in his directorial talent, Cousin John hired Sergio to be the new Creative Director at KLUK TV. The intrigue never ceases! Sergio now has been seen plotting with Daniel, Cousin John’s twin brother. Hang onto your seed-corn caps, we’re in for a bumpy ride as more events unfold in Sweet Swine County!
To see all the stories and reality-biting video clips on Lawyer Ed click here